Only my brother and ex-husband made the obligatory "why couldn't you have shut up sooner?" joke (and the ex at least had the decency to preface it by saying, "Do I get to make the obvious joke?" and immediately apologized for it afterward), and I got asked "Did anyone think you were deaf?" a lot--but oddly (or not), only one person MIGHT have mistaken me for deaf; the salesgirl at ISDA&Co. wore a big smile but I could see the gears turning in her head as I mouthed at her, thinking, "Is she....?"
It's been interesting. It's made me realize all too clearly that, even though I may be more conscious of the fact than many of my colleagues, I STILL derive a large part of my identity from my voice, and were I to quit, it would be difficult, but necessary, for me to find work that would give me the same positive validation (especially as I don't have a partner or family to give me that mirroring)....
I'm not talking quite yet--I'm holding out till this afternoon, 'cause I'm anal like that and to start now would feel like I wasn't strong enough to make it the WHOLE WEEK. So there.
I have no idea how well this has worked. I won't know until I vocalize later today--and more specifically, after tomorrow morning, when I have a 9:30am three-hour rehearsal call for the B Minor Mass. (Well, it could be worse--it COULD have been a Wagner opera...)
RM
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